Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
