Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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