hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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