I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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