You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
