Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
