And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
