I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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