Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
