there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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