i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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