i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize