ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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