Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
