Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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