I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
