i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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