How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize