Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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