i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
