he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I didn't notice because vodka
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
