so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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