I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
