I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's like iHOP with fire
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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