you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
