just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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