wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
