Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
