hotel room ftw
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
