Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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