Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
