she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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