Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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