you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
