You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
