I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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