id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you never un-have a 4some
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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