happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
