I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize