Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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