physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
