We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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