chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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