I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
