I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
