8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
