He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
