Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize