I want to make a zoo with you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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