I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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