I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
