It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
