What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
