His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize