Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
