Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
