her facebook's as public as her vagina
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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