I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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