Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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