TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
