what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
