She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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