I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
